Doing It Now

I have heard that our ability to learn and remember begins to slip as early as thirty years of age, but that our judgment starts to improve at that age. Allegedly, our judgment continues to improve until we reach our seventies when it begins to slip. I guess I am fast approaching the age where I will not be able tell you all of the experiences that cause me to do what I do, but that you had better believe my reasons for doing those things are sound. I am also at an age where I had better do as much as I can before my loss of judgment tries to keep pace with my loss of memory. Shifting into this hyperactive gear is not easy for me because I have always been a procrastinator.

Active people are moving targets. We procrastinators are static targets. Perhaps that is why we so often find ourselves taking it in the shorts. At the risk of being called a dumb ass, I have to admit that getting us moving is a bit like lighting a fire under a donkey. To those of you who sprint out of the blocks early, it must seem as though we are contemplating Zeno’s Paradox and are infinitely dividing the distance each step will cover, but we eventually get moving. In the meantime, we enjoy the shade and the sight of all you people who are trying to get things done before someone lights a fire under you. At the moment, I am responding to the fire I have lit under myself.

I have been rummaging through the mind clutter on my back porch. As this missive indicates, I have also been adding to it. I have been doing this while trying to learn about the inter net and blogs. All of which takes some time, too much time. I quickly realized that if I did not present my writings until after I finished the rummaging and learning about blogging and such, those writings might never be presented. Particularly since I keep adding to them. So I created this blog, and I started posting some of the things I have written. Damn the complexities, full speed ahead! Throwing this or that bit of writing into the vast blogosphere might not show the best judgment, but at least I am not procrastinating.

I cannot help fantasizing a bit as I set about my tasks. Yes, people my age still do that. I am picturing a cyberspace explorer. The keys on the keyboard are clicking as search after patient search probes cyberspace. Our explorer points and clicks the mouse numerous times, bringing up sundry websites and blogs. “Eureka!” There is a wonderful feeling of anticipation as our explorer clicks on “Mac’s Back Porch.” Who knows what entertainment, what insights, what pearls of wisdom are contained in this blog. I am afraid I can’t tell you. A person my age has had the opportunity to experience a lot more things than a younger person has. What a person has experienced, however, depends on how he or she has lived. Furthermore, what a person learns from those experiences depends on how much thought he or she has put into analyzing what has transpired. Similarly, what you find entertaining, insightful or wise depends on what you have experienced and how much thought you have put into analyzing what has transpired. I am shooting at a moving target here, folks! And my aim might not be that good.

I offer you this example. I have literally gone from main frames and punch cards to networks and servers. I wrote the following when I was still using a mainframe terminal at work:

The first spread sheet I ever used was Lotus 123, and it was on a mainframe. At some point I must have pushed the wrong button because the program thought I wanted to create a new dataset, which was the farthest thing from my mind. I tried pushing escape, and cancel, but that did work. I tried several other things as well, but the program kept insisting that I give it a name for the new dataset. Finally, in frustration, I said: “All right, you want a name. I’ll give you a name. How about asshole?” And I typed in “asshole.” A computer, of course, cannot be insulted. It had a name for the new dataset and that was all it wanted. Since it released me to get back to the work I was trying to complete I was also satisfied.
 
What I did not realize was that the mainframe had a program that checked to see when you last used a dataset. If a month went by without you using a dataset, the program automatically sent you a memorandum. Some clever programmer even went to the trouble of having the program insert the name of the dataset into the appropriate sentence of the memorandum. The memorandum I received was as follows:

“FROM: MAINFRAME ADMINISTRATION 
TO: USER STEPHEN MC KEAND (SCM)
RE: ARCHIVING
Due to inactivity, your dataset ‘asshole’ has been archived. If you wish to use it again, please notify us. We will be happy to reload it for you, but please bear in mind that it takes twenty-four hours to reload.”

Loading was not the problem. Elimination was the problem. My wasteful move at the keyboard was preserved. It was filed in an archive, and it was given a name that was bound to raise a few eyebrows.

What I learned from this is that computers amplify your mistakes, and that the results can be unexpected and sometimes amusing. What I did not learn is why the program thought I wanted to create a new dataset. I was too busy doing other tasks to learn about that function. If you are looking for insights into how a computer works or how to program one, this is not the right blog for you. A computer is a wonderful tool, and that is how I have always regarded it. I take the time to learn how to use the software well enough to do what I want to do, but that is about the extent of my computer knowledge.

During the time period of the memo I just described desktop computers rapidly progressed from 64K boxes to XT’s that had hard drives capable of holding twenty mega bites. I put a word processing program, with spell check, and Lotus 123 on my new XT. There was still more than enough room for any files I would create. I can remember wondering how anyone could use up all the space on such a large hard drive. Microsoft even published a letter from a gentleman who claimed he had his entire office backed up on a floppy disk! Who could want more? Well, there were desktop publishers, paintbrush programs, and business graphics programs. I eagerly added them to my hard drive. Fortunately, the progression of affordable computers was fast enough to keep up with my discovery of the affordable software I wanted, such as a database and a photo editor. The technological advances were coming at a far greater pace than I ever anticipated, and those advances were another one of life’s wonderful lessons. People who reject new ideas without testing them are acting like the man who advocated closing the patent office in nineteen hundred because everything had already been invented. Very bright people are unraveling age old mysteries every day, and they are inventing very useful and often life saving items and procedures. The inter net is making information about new discoveries and inventions increasingly available to laymen like me. Even as I approach my dotage, I continue to learn, and I still have far more questions than answers. I am grateful for that. A healthy curiosity and a child like delight in each new discovery are what make life so interesting!

First published in macsbackporch.blogspot.com on Apr. 29, 2009