Sunday, November 23, 2014

The Prophet Jons

Bones of the past were scattered across the table in the form of fragile pieces of paper. Those skeletal remains were no longer imbued with the illusive quality we call life yet they still exhibited many of the emotions that are so much a part of life. The emotions did not merely add interest to the remains, they were also the glue that determined which facts clung to accounts and explanations too often warped by beliefs, misunderstandings, and motives that might be less than pure. As always, the inaccuracies would increase the difficulty of fleshing out the larger story once the underlying structure was assembled.

The heavy marine air must have seemed strange to the apostles. The lights in the firmament were hidden above thick clouds casting the salt marshes into darkness.

“I seen it from a distance. Twas a mere will o’ the wisp floating above the water and peaking its fiery head out through wafts of fog.”

“Now Amel,” Daniel said, “you know there’s no such thing as a MEAR will o’ the wisp. Tis a false light luring you into the fogs and the bogs till you can’t tell left from right nor up from down. Iffen yer lucky you’ll only sink arse deep and will be able to wait for the true light of the sun to escape.”

It was no will o’ the wisp according Arthur. “Ball lightning, that’s what it was. I read about it once but never imagined I’d see such a rare sight. A ball of light rolled and bounced erratically over the wet surface until it struck something solid and exploded. The brighter flash of the explosion was reflected and distorted by the mist, and then it was gone taking with it whatever it struck, I’m guessing.”

What it apparently struck was the modern prophet, Jons. One of his followers, disciple Ron as he preferred to be called, took umbrage. He said this phenomenon could not be anything as malevolent as a will o’ the wisp or the devil’s fireball.

“The prophet Jons was a holy man, so holy that God spared him the death that ends our miserable earthly existence. I was there. I saw it as clearly as you see me now. A chariot of fire floated above the surface of the water to the prophet. And it took prophet Jons unto heaven as surely as God’s chariot took the prophet Elijah.”

Say what you will about prophet Jons (one disgruntled former follower called him the great profit) but prophet Jons certainly knew how die. Although there were few witnesses to his spectacular demise, that might have worked to the advantage of his disciples. More witnesses might have come up with different accounts of what actually happened. The descriptions of the few who witnessed the event must have presented disciple Ron with a dilemma as it was. It was not like he could go back to the flock and report that God or the devil blew the prophet’s ass off. Ah, but the death was caused by a rare phenomenon nobody could explain with scientific certainty.

Oh, sweet mystery! Life itself is mysterious enough to make most people believe in God. Why not a chariot of fire? Why couldn’t God whisk the prophet up to heaven in a chariot of fire? If you believe in God the explanation is as logical as a will o’ the wisp or some phenomenon so rare that no one can come up with a scientific explanation for it.

Unfortunately, the only description of the remains said there was a pair of burned boots and a pile of burned bones and flesh. It did not say whether the pile of bones and flesh resembled prophet Jons or even a human. The only conclusion that is certain is that the prophet, if those were the remains of the prophet, was not transported to heaven in his earthly form. But that is getting ahead of the story. The fragments of which were still scattered across the table.

“The least among you shall rise against the arrogance of your inventions, your corruption, and the rapaciousness that causes you to believe you can change the world in defiance of God’s will. And they shall cleave to each other as the true children of God. And they shall follow the prophet Jons into the wilderness, forsaking the wickedness of the cities and the land speculators to form a society of honest, God fearing, shepherds until the coming of our Lord.”

The forgoing was an excerpt from a tract written by prophet Jons.  So he was a Luddite. No big surprise there. The envelope that held this tract was mailed from Massachusetts and that part of the country had a long history of revivalist preachers who condemned the industrial revolution and its evils. A paper in that state announced revival meetings to be held on Saturday and Sunday by the “Prophet Jons and the Modern Apostles of the Lord’s Light.” The next edition of that paper contained a review of the first of those meetings.

“The many people who were able to ignore the conceit of a modern man calling himself a prophet really enjoyed the meeting. Prophet Jons is not just a hell, fire, and brimstone preacher he is also quite a showman. He really connects with his audience. They laughed with him, and they cried with him. They shouted amen and hallelujah, and they sang at the top of their voices. At one point he talked about what we hail as our great knowledge and all of the wonderful things we produce. ‘And what will happen to all those things our great knowledge allows us to produce?’ he asked. He then used a torch to set off what must have been black powder in an open trough. There was a bright flash and a billow of smoke. ‘All gone, gone in a flash!’ he shouted. ‘What I just ignited was an invention of destruction, but they’re all inventions of destruction. I don’t need to tell you that. You feel it in your sore muscles, your stiff joints, and the sweat of your brow as you struggle through the long hours to produce the temporary things that are supposed to make life on earth better. True happiness is only found in the hereafter and only by they who have committed themselves to a Christian life!’

His idea of a Christian life is a pastoral life. That is impractical for most people in this day and age, but what he said was well received by the workers in his audience. There is little doubt that he made some converts last night.”

What happened next is described in a diary kept by prophet Jons’ first wife, Margaret.

“We moved our flock to God’s own country. My husband is the showman and the speaker. He is the one who draws the followers who invested in our new Christian society, but it is the logician, disciple Ron, who is the practical one. He pointed out that there was no free range to speak of. We cannot wonder the wilderness with flocks of sheep. We bought two large tracts of land. One tract was purchased in my husband’s name. The other deed lists disciple Ron as the owner. The deeds are a mere formality. Both ranches belong to the Modern Apostles of the Lord’s Light.”

Another entry: “We have just constructed a large, beautiful house. Most of the cabins inhabited by our flock are also complete. We have some chickens, milk cows, and a large flock of sheep. We have also bought spinning wheels to make cloth.”

There was a long lapse of diary entries and then the following: “I fear that many members of our society have succumbed to jealousy and earthly greed. They accuse my husband of philandering and complain about not receiving a fair share of our bounty. Will Smith turned traitor. He left our ranch and shot his mouth off to a reporter. He called my dear husband the great profit, and accused him of keeping all the money. He also repeated the accusations about the philandering. Will Smith is a liar!”

Several weeks later: “Most of our flock have left. They have set out on their own to rejoin the wicked world. No matter. We can hire help. Disciple Ron proposed something far bolder. He said we can hire overseers to manage the ranches. He pointed out that the great prophets did not live pastoral lives; they preached. This idea greatly appeals to my restless husband. Preaching is his God given talent. He really misses the audiences who so adore him.”

Railroad tickets and the bank books kept by disciple Ron show that prophet Jons took his show on the road shortly after Margaret’s diary entry. Railroads must not have been one of the inventions he objected too because he made liberal use of them. It was the practical thing to do. He hired a young organist, eighteen year old Peggy Peters, and they took with them a pump organ. They also took with them the large meeting tent and several smaller tents to sleep in as well as the props, such as the black powder and ignition trough. Prophet Jons hired several young men to travel with him and do much of the physical work.

An entry in Margaret’s diary said: “I had a very difficult decision to make. As much as I wanted to be with my dear husband, I thought the journey would be too arduous for our infants. After much prayer and thought I decided to stay here where I could keep an eye on the overseers.”

The best description of Prophet Jon's tour can be found in Peggy's letters to her sister Ann.

"This is not merely a job," Peggy wrote, "I am doing the Lord’s work. Prophet Jons is magnificent. The people who come to our revival meetings hang on his every word. His reputation grows by the day. He is now drawing large audiences wherever we go. At one meeting Mr. George How was so moved by the spirit that he offered the most rousing testimony I have ever heard. Disciple Ron said the young man had a gift. Mr. How has now joined us, and he repeats his testimony at all of our meetings.


Affectionately yours

Peggy”

In her next letter to Ann Peggy said the entourage had grown considerably. Most of the new recruits were under twenty-five years old. Young ladies in white flowing robes now walked the aisles to accept the contributions from the audience. And the contributions were finally providing enough money for the apostles to stay at inexpensive hotels and boarding houses. Prophet Jons and disciple Ron secured private rooms for themselves. The rest of the crew packed into as few rooms as possible.

“Prophet Jons is very personable. Everyone loves him, but he has an almost unreasonable need for privacy. It is as though he talks to the Lord hourly. He does not indulge in alcohol except for an occasional glass of wine with supper. Until recently I did not know much about disciple Ron because he traveled ahead of us to make the arrangements. He has now trained Robert Gomes to do much of what disciple Ron calls the advance work. My increased exposure to disciple Ron has revealed much. He is a brilliant man but far less temperate and far more demanding than prophet Jons. I would not say that disciple Ron is a drunk but he is known to imbibe a bit too much at times.”

“Dear Ann:

You should see us now! Remember how I wanted to join some of the traveling circuses and such when I was child. In some ways I have. We typically arrive at towns one or two days before the meetings. The unloading of the wagons and horses from the train is well orchestrated. The first wagons taken off the train cars are the ones carrying the tent and the seats and such. The men setting up the meeting place go there as quickly and efficiently as possible. The rest of us take part in a parade through the town. The girls who take the donations at the meetings are in the lead wearing their white flowing robes. I follow in a wagon designed to hold the organ, and I play hymns along the way. Prophet Jons likes the peppy ones. I even play a few Negro spirituals. The girls literally dance down the street passing out the flyers announcing the date and time of the meetings. Prophet Jons follows in an open carriage, the sides of which have been painted with a scene from the bible. He is followed by two men riding camels, and they are followed by a wagon in which Apostles dressed in biblical costumes are standing or sitting. The other two wagons that follow carry our wardrobes & etc. Those wagons would not be remarkable enough to include in the parade if it weren’t for the beautifully painted biblical scenes on them. Our parade always draws a crowd.

I am enjoying myself immensely. I suppose you could say I have joined the inner circle. Prophet Jons frequently takes his evening meal in his hotel room. I take his supper to him and join him for the meal. We have long talks. I will write again soon.
Affectionately Yours

Peggy.”

Margaret’s diary addressed a growing scandal. “Again there are accusations about philandering. It is said that my dear husband has impregnated the young organist, Peggy. I fear that the accusations might not be unfounded this time. My husband tries to be righteous but he is a man. Our separation must be difficult for him. He will be home soon. The tour ends with the onset of winter. I will not confront him about the scandal as long as he behaves himself here.  He and disciple Ron intend to build a church here. They have taken in several neophytes and intend to train and ordain them. The church here will be the first of what they hope to be many.”

Other diary entries indicate that many of the young people traveling with prophet Jons took up residence in the cabins that had been built when the failed society was started. Peggy discretely occupied a cabin on disciple Ron’s property. In some ways a polygamist relationship was established. Peggy kept a discrete distance at the ranch. Although they avoided the condemnation the Mormons were experiencing by not officially recognizing the union between Peggy and prophet Jons, Peggy was the traveling wife and Margaret was the home wife. The meeting house at the ranch was used as a seminary for the neophytes, and two more churches were eventually established.

Disciple Ron and several of the neophytes collaborated in ghost writing a book for prophet Jons. It described prophet Jons’ religious movement and contained autobiographical material. The acknowledgement in the book thanked disciple Ron and the neophytes for their help in writing the book, which was sold at the new churches and the revival meetings. Prophet Jons was now getting national attention in the press. He was particularly popular in the mid-west because of the contrasts he drew between the good clean life of the Christian farmers and the squalor and exploitation of the workers in the industrialized cities. He was also popular with the workers in the cities because of the way he lambasted their employers. Some of the industrialists actually threatened to fire any workers who attended his meetings. He drew large crowds in the cities in spite of the threat. Some reporters seemed particularly amused by that and by the accusations that he was a subversive rogue who fomented the discontent of the great unwashed.

In response to a veiled threat published by one newspaper prophet Jons said: “My kingdom is not of this world. If workers choose to return to the farms because of what I preach, their employers will simply bring in more immigrants to exploit and corrupt.” In some cities he drew large enough crowds to hold his meetings in theaters rather than the tents.

According to Margaret’s diary the last tour was to end on the Pacific Coast. For some reason disciple Ron, who did not keep a diary, actually chronicled prophet Jons’ last days and the events leading up to his demise.

“I traveled to the Pacific coast. I did so well in advance of the tour.  My goal was not to do the advance work by making the necessary arrangements for our tour but to assess the potential profitability of a tour there. The prospects were appealing. I must confess that I was particularly enamored with southern California. The climate is superb. Los Angeles has a reputation for being lawless. Many of its citizens still carry firearms. It is, however, no more rowdy than is San Francisco. During my visit to Los Angeles I met with some of the more prominent businessmen. It is not an industrialized area and I did not sense any of the hostility that greets us in industrialized areas. We talked about the availability of land, the ranches and farms and other business enterprises. They told me of an area down the coast. The landowners there were ranchers and farmers with huge spreads. I was warned that they would not be eager to part with good land, but some of the land they owned was useless to them. I took a long carriage trip to an area characterized by salt marshes. I was told it was tideland. Neither the brine nor the asphalteum deposits in some of the pools are good for livestock. I was able to talk one of the ranchers into selling me fifteen dry acres near those marshes at a very cheap price. I registered the ownership of that land jointly in my name and in the name of prophet Jons.

This location seemed like the perfect place for a resort, and my purpose in buying that land was to build a resort there. When I returned to my ranch I pitched the idea to prophet Jons. He, predictably, wanted to build a religious retreat rather than a resort. I pointed out to him that a resort would be far more profitable, and we could still build a chapel where we could hold services. He agreed in principle but wanted to see the land before making his final decision. We planned to start our tour in spring, and to go to Los Angeles first. We would then work our way up the coast and then to the mid-west. We arrived in Los Angeles between storms. It turns out that the winter there is mild and spring is the stormy season. The weather held and our meetings there went well. I had the foresight to plan three days of down time so we could explore the land before moving on. I had also arranged for prophet Jons and I to stay the night at the house of the rancher who sold us the property. I did this because of the long carriage ride to and from Los Angeles.

Since we had a place to stay nearby I was not concerned about arriving at our property in the afternoon. Nor was I concerned about hiking the trail in the marshes. The marine air was heavy and damp and it was still, deathly still. When I had been there before the abundance of game birds was astounding. They were all hiding now. The darkness descended upon us suddenly, making it very difficult to stay on the trail. I paused for a breather. Prophet Jons scouted the trail for a short distance ahead of me. We called back and forth to each other so I could find him again. I was a short distance from him when it happened. I will not go into his last moments here. I have already said all I have to say about that. We carried out the rest of the tour with young George doing the preaching. He did a pretty good job, but he is no prophet Jons. I’m afraid our touring days are over. All that remains of the movement are our churches.”

In a later reminiscence disciple Ron said prophet Jons’ simple vision was too difficult to sustain. “In the hands of a charismatic leader it traveled well but it sat poorly.”

What happened to prophet Jons is as mysterious as will o’ the wisps and ball lightning. The folks who believe he was taken to heaven do so as a matter of faith. It can be argued, particularly the part about the chariot of fire, but no one can prove it or disprove it.  Therein lies the futility of engaging in debates about religion.

First published in macsbackporch.foxtail-farms on Sep. 30, 2010

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