Writing Short (Crappy) Stories

During my latest creative drought I did something I have not done since graduating from college; I read about writing. There are so many people out there complaining about how hard it is to write short stories. Perhaps it is blissful ignorance on my part but the rules seem fairly simple to me: express yourself clearly and try to be entertaining. It takes a lot of thought and hard work to do that, but it does not take a lot rules. The best advice I have received is to keep my stories potty length. Although it is not very appealing to think of people taking a dump while reading what I have worked so hard to create, the important thing is that people are still reading my work product. That beats the hell out of being ignored. So read on my friends, and happy droppings to you.

There are, of course, some people I will never please. Those people will find something in at least one of my posts that offends them, and they are going to be sorely tempted to demonstrate their displeasure in a graphic manner if they are reading in the bathroom. The people who give in to that temptation will soon discover that the paper used in their printers is a lot rougher than the paper designed to be used on their bottoms. They will also run the risk of stopping up their toilets. Nothing can make people yell “shit” faster than being ankle deep in it. “A writer’s revenge,” you say. Perhaps, but I would not celebrate it. While it would be silly of me to think I can please everyone, I do not relish the thought of being the author whose stories clogged up the most toilets. So how do I prevent that from happening?

First of all, I realize that judging the quality of a story is really subjective. The only stories that are really crappy are the ones that talk about crap as I did in the paragraphs above. That can be a good thing or a bad thing depending on whether the reader finds potty humor funny. Most professional writers will tell you to write for a particular audience. I am afraid my blog is not very professional in that regard. Some of my humor is crappy and some of it is not. Some of my posts are about selfish, young men behaving badly or women behaving badly, but I also write about men and women struggling to do the right things. Although much of my writing is intended to be humorous, some of my stories are serious and I often use humor to make a serious point. I also experiment with the form and techniques of writing stories. It is very difficult to build up a loyal following when you are doing what I do. I am afraid it means there are things in this blog to please everyone and things to offend or bore everyone. That is not a good thing for readers, but I cannot seem to restrict myself enough to appeal to a particular audience.

The one thing I tell other writers is that you must be who you are. You can write for a particular audience, but you must be authentic. Doing that increases the sting of whatever criticism comes your way, but that is something you have to endure. A writer has to develop a thick skin and an open mind. Do not be afraid to take some risks. I welcome constructive criticism. I also enjoy receiving compliments, scratching my itchy ego is always appreciated. I would like to hear from you.

First published in macsbackporch.fictionforall.com on Jan 18, 2012