A Dog Of A Night

I sat in front of my computer this morning. I had no idea what I was going to write. That is often the case. I really do not know where some of my stories and articles come from. I just start typing. As that smart ass Newton said, objects in motion tend to stay in motion and objects at rest tend to stay at rest. The creative part of my brain was obviously at rest. No matter how hard I tugged and pulled at it, it stubbornly refused to budge. I decided to get up and go to the bathroom. It was not that I had a full bladder. I think my urge to go was more of an unconscious rebellion against the tugging and pulling.

I had to pass the kitchen on my way to the bathroom. My brother was pouring a cup of coffee. He had slept in, and it was obvious that he had had a difficult night. He suffers from sleep apnea and uses a CPAP machine. Like so many people, he found the recommended mask too uncomfortable. So he opted for the machine with devices that he plugs into his nose. This seems to work well enough to make me think that his difficulty sleeping was not caused by the CPAP. I thought his sleep deprivation might be caused by some anxiety or by the dog. Our Schnauzer likes to sleep next to his bed. I am on the other side of the house and cannot hear her barking at the creatures that occasionally visit our back yard at night, but my brother tells me she does this frequently.

“Rough night?” I asked.

“You have no idea how fast you can rip those plugs out of your nose until the CPAP injects a dog fart directly into your olfactory sensors. Believe me, it’s a very rapid and rude awakening.”

I guess this proves the old bromide about someone always being worse off than you are. Knowing that is not much consolation. I mean, you can say I’m glad I’m not him, but your situation may not make it so good to be you either. In this case, however, my brother’s problem was my solution. It gave me something to write. It also raised some interesting questions. Does my brother’s CPAP magnify the odor of dog farts or does it simply encourage him to breath through his nose when he is sleeping? I am tempted to suggest some experimentation to find out, but I doubt that he or the dog have much of an incentive to participate in such experiments. At any rate, my brother’s mood indicates that this is not a good time to suggest it.

First published in macsbackporch.foxtail-farms.com on Jul. 13, 2010