A misfit is something
ill fitting or someone who does not fit into the group. Jon Dark was
not a misfit in the traditional sense. It was not so much a matter
of her not fitting in as it was a matter of in not fitting her. It
started with her name. When her parents emigrated from France their
surname d’Arc was bastardized to Darc and then to Dark. Later when
everyone Anglicized their daughter’s Christian name, Jeanne, her
parents changed the spelling her name to Jon. So her name was then
pronounced like Jeanne d’ Arc, who fought like a man and was burned
at the stake as a witch. Like Jeanne d’ Arc, Jon Dark seemed to
have gender issues or gender confusion if you prefer. Instead of
being the frilly little girl her parents envisioned playing with
dolls Jon preferred trousers and the rough and tumble activities of
the boys. She became her younger brother’s mentor and his severest
critic. After one of his little league games she said: “That pitch
was right in your wheel house. I would have knocked the shit out of
it!” She probably would have too.
Boys who competed with
older brothers thought they had it tough, but competing with an older
sister was a lot tougher. There is no glory in defeating a girl, no
matter how athletic she may be. Furthermore, losing to her makes you
look like a wimp. Roger laughed. He wondered why was he thinking
about this now? Probably because he knew he would not be at the
house to greet her today. In spite of the sibling rivalry, he always
enjoyed seeing her. No matter, she would understand that he had
things he needed to do. His wife, Jenny, or the hired hand, Fred,
would take care of the bags of fertilizer Jon was delivering for
Jenny’s truck garden.
It was the beginning of
another summer and another day. The morning breeze still carried
enough of a chill to make Roger wear a long jacket. He turned onto
the access road to the river and jolted to a stop at the point where
his irrigation ditch intersected the small river. He got out of the
cab of the truck and removed a shovel from the bed. He was soon hard
at work removing the sediment piled up in front of his water gate.
When he had the sediment cleared out he opened the gate to let the
water flow into his irrigation channel. The current swept an animal
into the channel. He thought it was a river rat and was about to
whack it with his shovel when he saw it was a puppy. Puppies have to
be kept warm. If they get too cold they will die. Its eyes were
open and it looked at him as if pleading for help. He picked it up,
unzipped his jacket and held the dog next to his body.
“Damn dog,” he said
as he zipped up his jacket.
He got in the truck,
started it, and turned on the heater. He was not happy about the
amount of time he was going to waste by taking the puppy to his
house.
“You’re damn lucky
that I can’t bring myself to leave you out here to freeze.”
The wet puppy dropped
down into Roger’s lap, but it was still covered by the long Jacket.
Roger unzipped the jacket to give the dog more air. When they
reached the house, Roger covered the puppy with his jacket again and
carried it inside. Jenny looked at his wet trousers and smiled.
“No wise cracks,”
he said.
He picked up a box that
was in the service porch just off the kitchen. “Bring me a couple
of thick towels and the ear warmer.”
The ear warmer was a
tin can. In the can was a light bulb that provided the heat. A
person using the ear warmer plugged the cord from the light bulb into
an electrical socket and then put the open end of the can to his ear.
Jenny did not waste time asking questions. She quickly retrieved
the items he had requested. The puppy was still concealed beneath
Roger’s jacket.
“Put the other towel
in the box and plug in the ear warmer.”
He took the puppy out
from beneath his jacket and gently dried her.
“What a cute puppy,”
Jenny said as Roger placed it in the box. “Where’d you find
her?”
“Someone must have
thrown her in the river. She floated into my irrigation trench.”
“What an awful thing
to do!”
“If she revives
enough to drink it give her some warm milk.” He had this look on
his face that told Jenny he was mildly annoyed. “That damn dog
better survive after I wasted so much of my day on her.”
There was now the sound
of a truck stopping in front of the house. He opened the front door
and stepped out onto the porch. It was the truck from Gregory’s
Feed and Garden. His sister stepped out of the truck’s cab. She
was five feet ten inches tall and weighed a hundred and seventy
pounds. He was the same height but outweighed her by fifteen pounds.
She was dressed in blue jeans, a long sleeved paid shirt and work
boots, as was he. Her features were not unattractive, but her attire
and the lack of any make up made her look masculine. She glanced
down at his wet crotch and laughed.
“You’re supposed to
pull it out of your pants before you turn on the spigot,” she said.
“Thanks for telling
me. You’d think that’s something I would have picked up during
my twenty-six years on this earth.”
“You’d think. So
where do you want the shit?”
“You mean the
fertilizer.”
“You describe it by
function. I describe it by smell.”
“Your preference must
have something to do with your delicate female nose.”
“Well, it ain’t
exactly Chanel Number Five in those bags. Who’s the big guy?”
Roger looked over his
shoulder and saw the new hand, Fred, carry a bale of hay into the
barn. Big was certainly the word for him. He stood six feet four
inches tall and weighed nearly three hundred pounds.
“He’s the new
hand.” Fred now emerged from the barn. “Hey Fred! Come here
for a minute.”
Fred walked over to
them.
“It must be your
devilish good looks that made Jon here ask for an introduction.”
Fred actually blushed.
“I think it’s more likely that the little lady would like me to
help her unload the truck.”
Jon laughed. “Little?
Well, I suppose a behemoth would call me that.”
“Can’t help my
size, ma’am. Though I suppose I could cut back on the groceries a
bit.”
“We all could, but
who the hell wants too.”
Roger started walking
to his truck. “I’ve still got channels to dig out. Show her
where to drop the shit.”
“Sorry ma’am. The
boss shouldn’t talk like that in front of a lady.”
“It’s all right.
The prick’s my brother.”
Fred smiled. “So
you’re the bosses sister.”
“That I am. My folks
gave him the down payment on the place. They wanted to send me to
cosmetology school or to get training for some other damn fool, girly
thing, but I’m not prissy enough for that.’
“No ma’am.”
“And stop calling me
ma’am. I’m Jon.”
“Okay, Jon.”
When Roger returned to
the house that night he saw Jenny using a turkey baster to feed the
puppy warm milk.
“How’s she doing?”
“She’s still rather
lethargic, but she wakes up enough to drink the milk. This is her
second feeding today.”
Over the next few days
the puppy became more active, and she started eating solid food. One
day Jon showed up at noon with four bags of chicken feed.
“I know you didn’t
order these to be delivered, but I had to pass by here anyhow. We
won’t charge you the delivery fee.”
“Thanks sis. Why
don’t you have lunch with us?”
“I can’t. I have
to make another delivery before I can take a break.”
“I’ll help unload
the bags.”
She smiled. “Thanks
Fred.”
She was wearing
lipstick. She did that occasionally, but did her smile mean she was
wearing it for Fred? Roger doubted it.
The puppy was some sort
of spaniel mix, and she was growing fast. Roger looked at her paws.
“She’s not going to be big enough to guard anything,” he said.
“About the only thing she’s going to be good at is chewing up my
boots. I guess we’d better buy her some of those raw hide things
to chew on.”
“Has she chewed up
your boots?”
“No, but I caught her
trying to carry one of them off.”
“That means she wants
something that smells like you. You need some new slippers anyhow.
I’ll give her one of your slippers.”
“Damn dog.”
The next day Jon
arrived at noon.
“Just in time for
lunch,” Roger said.
“That’s why I’m
here.”
Jon was wearing
lipstick again, and it looked like she was also wearing that stuff to
make her eye lashes look thicker and longer. She greeted Fred warmly
and sat next to him at the table.
“I know I shouldn’t
have done it, but I just couldn’t resist,” she said. “You know
how buxom Mrs. Miller is. Well, she was down on all six with her
butt in the air like a playful puppy. I guess she was looking for
some small object she had dropped in her garden. I put in the
clutch, coasted up to the border of her property, and honked the
horn. She must have jumped two feet in the air. It’s hard to
believe someone her age and size could get off her knees so quickly.”
“You’ll pay for
that,” Jenny said. “That woman’s tongue is pure acid.”
“I guess I’ll have
to avoid going to church for a while.”
Roger laughed. “You
do that anyhow. I’ll never forget the time mom was trying to get
you to put on a pretty dress she had bought for you to wear to
church. You said you couldn’t see why you had to dress up for God
when he’s already seen you naked.”
“Well, He does see us
naked. Forget that business about respect or reverence; the real
reason why people dress up is to impress the rest of the
congregation.”
One can never be too
sure about how someone will take a comment like that. She looked
over at Fred to see how he took it. He was laughing. After lunch
Fred walked her out to the truck and opened the door for her.
“Oh, so you’re a
gentleman.”
He smiled. “And
regretting the departure of a fair lady.”
Jenny was watching them
from the front door of the house. It looked like Jon handed
something to Fred, who was grinning from ear to ear. Jon then
started the truck, honked the horn, and backed out of the driveway.
Roger put on his hat
and walked to the front door.
“I could be wrong,
but I think she’s interested in Fred,” Jenny said as she stepped
out of Roger’s way.
“You must be wrong.”
Jenny just smiled. “By
the way, I took Dee to the chicken coop to teach her how to act
around the chickens today.”
“Dee?”
“Well, we can’t
keep calling her damn dog.”
“I guess not.”
“You know how the red
hen is always trying to lay eggs outdoors rather than in the roost?
Well, I was outside looking for her as usual, and there was Dee
staring at a bush and standing perfectly still. I looked behind the
bush and sure enough there was the hen sitting on an egg.”
“I’ll be damned. I
guess I’d better get her trained now. If she’s going to be a
hunter I can’t have her pointing at junk.”
He took Dee to the best
trainer around. He took her to Bob.
“I don’t know,”
Bob said. “She’s some sort of spaniel mix, but I’ve never seen
anything quite like her. Leave her with me for three days. I’ll
take her into the field with Champ and see if she picks up on what
he’s doing.”
“Let me know what I
owe you.”
“We’ll get to that
if I find out she’s trainable.”
The next day was Saturday.
Jenny stepped out of the bathroom and announced that she was
pregnant. They had been trying to have a baby for several months,
and this was good news. Roger decided to take her to town for a
celebratory dinner. They were quickly shown to a table next to a
window facing Main Street, and a waitress took their dinner orders.
“I miss not having
Dee under my feet,” Jenny said.
“Puppies are always
lovable. I’m just hoping she’ll be useful.”
How male. Jenny
wondered why men had such a hard time showing their emotions. She
watched Roger playing with Dee. He obviously liked her, but that was
not good enough. He had to find some other reason for keeping her.
She had to fit into the larger scheme of farm life. Jenny glanced
out window.
“Will you look at
that?”
Roger followed her
gaze. “Was that Jon and Fred entering the movie theater?”
“It sure was.”
“A little faux male
bonding I suppose.”
Jenny laughed. “That’s
awful. I think it might be more than that.”
“Maybe, but I
wouldn’t bank on it.”
Fred reported for work
bright and early on Monday morning.
Roger tried to make the
comment sound as casual as possible. “We saw you and Jon at the
movie theater on Saturday.”
“I hope you don’t
mind.”
“I don’t mind.
It’s just that… Well, she hasn’t shown much interest in the
men around here.”
“No need to worry
about that.”
Was Fred picking up on
the fact that Roger wondered about Jon’s sexual orientation? If so
Fred was implying that he had sex with her. Roger did no know how he
felt about that, but then his protective instinct kicked in. She
was, after all, his sister.
“And what are your
intentions?” He asked this realizing how ridiculous it must sound
in these times.
Fred smiled. “You
should know your sister well enough to realize it’s her intentions
that matter. I’ve already learned that she gets what she wants.”
Roger laughed.
“There’s no arguing with that.”
On Wednesday Roger went
to pick up Dee.
“Looks like you might
have a first class pointer here.”
“Really?”
“Yeah. She needs a
lot of training, but she’s got a terrific nose and all the right
instincts.”
“I’ll be damned.
How much is it going to cost?”
“I’ll charge you a
flat fee of a hundred and fifty dollars. It’s a bit of risk on my
part because there’s no telling how long it will take to train her,
but I’m betting people will think I’m a miracle worker when they
see this mutt work a field.”
Roger grinned. “You’ve
got yourself a deal.”
Dee was dancing in
front of Roger, begging for his attention. He reached down and
patted her head. “Okay misfit, it looks like you’ll earn your
keep after all.”
While Roger was picking
up Dee, Jon paid Jenny a visit.
“Jon! This is a
surprise.”
“I know. I hope you
don’t mind me dropping in like this. You’re the only female
friend I’ve got, and I have to share this with someone or I’ll
bust!” She held up her left hand to show off her new engagement
ring.
“Oh my God! But it’s
so soon. I mean you just met him.”
“Sometimes you just
know. He gave me a little stone and a great big heart. I know he’s
the man I’m meant to be with.”
“So it’s love at
first sight.”
“Yeah, it is. And I
bet you thought I was gay, didn’t you?”
“Well, I ah…”
“It’s okay. I
suppose people are always going to wonder about a girl who acts like
a boy, but they shouldn’t be so quick to jump to conclusions. I
spent a lot more time with the boys than other girls did. The thing
is that flirting was not one of the girly things I was good at, and I
wouldn’t put out. I guess the guys finally gave up on having sex
with me and just decided to treat like me like one of them. None of
them ever thought about courting such a big, competitive woman.”
Jenny did not know
whether to laugh or cry. “That must have hurt.”
Jon shrugged. “I am
what I am. I guess it just took the right man to accept that. I
know he comes over as a big friendly puppy, but he’s really smart.
He’s also too confident to be intimidated by me.”
Jenny hugged Jon and
congratulated her.
The front door opened
and Dee bounded inside, followed by Roger.
“I have wonderful
news,” Roger said. “My dog hunts.”
“ I have wonderful
news too. Fred and I are getting married.”
“So soon?”
Roger’s question was
greeted by a duet. “Sometimes you just know!”
There was a long pause.
“He’s a good man,” Roger finally said. He hugged Jon.
“Congratulations! When’s the wedding?”
“We don’t know yet,
but it’s going to be soon. By the way Jenny, I want you to be my
bridesmaid.”
“Thank you, Jon. I’m
honored. Why don’t you stay for dinner?”
“I’d love to, but
I’ve got some shopping to do.” She literally danced out the
door.
“Are you glad to find
out she’s not gay?” Jenny asked.
“I have to admit that
I am. It’s not a moral judgment on my part. It’s just that I
can’t understand this whole same sex thing. I’ll tell you
though, she’s my sister and nothing could ever change that or make
me deny it.”
“Then you would
accept it if she were gay?”
“I’d accept her the
same way I’ve been accepting her for all these years while
wondering about it. But why did you ask?”
“I don’t know. I
guess I’m questioning why I feel closer to her right now. It
really shouldn’t make a difference. I mean she’s no different
than she was when I thought she was gay, is she?”
“Probably not.”
Then Roger laughed. “One thing’s for certain, old Freddie’s
got a real pistol on his hands. I hope they’ll be happy together.”
“That’s the
important thing. Everyone deserves some love and happiness.”
First published in macsbackporch.fictionforall.com on Jun 16, 2011
