Made In Heaven You Say

The inter net is turning into the inter-met. Face book and twitter are much in the news, but that is not what I am talking about. Nor am I talking about the dating sites that attract people who are inclined to engage in Weineresque behavior. The sites I am talking about are the ones that attract people seeking long-term relationships. They are the sites that say they bring people together based upon personality, interests, etc. For lack of a better term, I call them match-maker sites. All of those match-maker sites tout their ability to find someone with whom you will be compatible. Most of those sites, however, are not foolish enough to make any guarantees. The exception to this rule is a Christian site that says it will find God’s match for you. Now that is some rather hefty authority. How can you go wrong if God is the guarantor? Ah, sweet music and light! But nothing is that simple. There may be an implied warrantee here but there is nothing in writing. God is not foolish enough to affix his signature to a guarantee of marital bliss. He catches an unfair share of the blame as it is. There are already too many people saying:

“So this is the mate you have for me. What could I have possibly done to deserve this? Whatever it was, I repent!”

This is not gender specific. Believe me, women also have this complaint. There is invariably an attempt to bargain at this point. There is an attempt to justify breaking the vow to have and to hold from this day forward until death do us part. If a deal cannot be struck with God, who is far too inclined to remain silent on this matter, the supplicant is likely to view the silence as an indication that the match was made in some place other than heaven. In which case you might see an epitaph similar to the actual one I quote below:

“When the children of Israel prayed for food

God sent them manna.

When old Clark Wallace prayed for a wife

Satan sent him Anna.”

In all likelihood neither God nor Satan had anything to do with making the match. Only in the court of straw dog logic would anyone try to adjudicate such a matter in regard to God. I might also add that such adjudication would be futile because God is the judge. In regard to Satan the verdict would not be rendered until well after the mortal connection with your spouse has come to an end. Similarly, blaming the Christian site for a bad match would probably be unavailing. I think the Christian site is counting on that.

Frankly I do not think it matters how you find your mate. Life is too complex for guarantees. Finding the right person helps, but the only way to improve the odds of a happy marriage is through commitment and effort. Sometimes even that is not enough and the pain of dissolution becomes preferable to the unhappiness caused by trying to maintain the union.

Love and luck to you all. Marriage is a beautiful thing when it works. That is why people who have had bad marriages usually try again, and it is why match-maker sites continue to draw people who are looking for a mate.

First published in macsbackporch.fictionforall.com on Jun 2, 2011