The Statuette

He unearthed it while removing the weeds from his garden. It was a ghastly figure about four inches tall. It was made of clay and had been fired in a kiln. Maybe it depicted a primitive god or a demon, but how ancient could it be if it was fired in a kiln? And why would anyone go to so much trouble to create anything so ugly? God only knows how it got in Don’s garden, and God was not telling.

“It looks like a troll to me,” he told his wife, Alice.

“I think it looks like a gargoyle.”

”A gargoyle?”

“Yeah, you know, one of those hideous creatures they put on medieval churches and such.”

He knew what gargoyles were, but he had not thought about this thing looking like one of them. Maybe it would look more like a gargoyle if he washed some of the dirt off it. He washed it in the kitchen sink. It had the bulging eyes and mirthless grin of a frog, but it also had the high forehead and the equatorial nose of a human. Furthermore, it had big ears. Is that what gargoyles looked like? He was not sure.

He looked up gargoyles in the encyclopedia. He could understand the gargoyles that drained rain water away from the block walls of buildings; they were ugly but at least they served a purpose. What about the other gargoyles, the ones that were strictly ornamental, the ones that supposedly depicted a mythical creature? Why were they made a part of buildings? And why was there no consistency? One would think that a mythical creature would be described in the myth and that artists wishing to depict it would make the sculpted figures conform to that description. This did not seem to be case. From the few pictures in the encyclopedia he determined that gargoyles could be any number of different creatures. The only rule seemed to be that they should be repulsive, but even that rule was broken sometimes. He was curious about why this was so, but he was not curious enough to read the entire article. The one positive thing he could say about calling such a variety of creatures “gargoyles” is that it prevented arguments about whether something looked like a gargoyle.

At any rate this figure was too small to be a part of any building. He still thought it must be a demon of some sort. He carried the statuette into his bedroom. As hideous as it was, it was a gift from the earth. He did not want to hastily discard a gift from the earth. He set it on his dresser where he would see it every day. Seeing it would make him think about what he wanted to do with it.

Alice waited until he was asleep. If churches put gargoyles on the buildings to scare people into righteousness it was certainly a good strategy. She thought there was something disturbing about the eyes of the gargoyle her husband found in their garden. She could not stand to have those eyes watching her sleep. She took the little statue into the kitchen and set it next to the coffee pot. “He’ll it see there everyday until he decides to get rid of it,” she thought.

When he woke up the next morning the last thing on his mind was the little statue. The coffee pot was on a timer and he could smell the coffee brewing as he dressed. He walked into the kitchen. There he cut a bagel in half and spread cream cheese on both halves. He put the bagel on a small plate, reached into the cupboard and removed a coffee cup. He saw the demon when he went to pour the coffee. The sight of it startled him so much that he almost dropped the cup. “It’s not a demon,” he told himself. “It’s just a small statue, a mere lump of clay, but this is not a good place for it.” He carried it into the living room and set it on the table next to the end of the couch where he normally sat. Then he turned on the television and walked back to the kitchen to retrieve his coffee and bagel. It was his practice to watch the morning news while eating his breakfast.

Alice came into the kitchen after he left for work. She looked at the coffee pot and smiled. “Good,” she thought. The gargoyle is gone. He must have thrown it out.”

She ate breakfast then went into the living room to watch her favorite soap opera. The sight of the gargoyle on the end table startled her. She brushed it off the table and onto the floor, hoping that the fall broke the ghastly thing. It did not. By the time the show was over she had forgotten all about the statuette. Her mind was now on the list of items she was going to purchase at the grocery store.

The dog entered the living room after she left. He gave the statue on the floor a few critical sniffs before picking it up. He took it to the kitchen where he dropped it on the floor. It is too difficult to know what a dog is thinking to say that he was making a critical comment, but after giving the little statue a thorough sniffing he peed on it.

Alice now returned with the groceries. She quickly put the perishable items in the refrigerator. Since it was a hot day and her feet were uncomfortable she took off her shoes. Not surprisingly, that is when she stepped in the dog pee and saw the wet statue. One would think she would have blamed the dog for peeing on the floor, but that is not what she did. She loved the dog and hated the gargoyle. In her mind there was obviously something bad about the gargoyle that made the dog pee on it. She washed the pee off of the statue and off of the floor. She decided that something had to be done about that evil statue. She had to find a way to get it out of her house. She put it in front of the door between the house and garage. With any luck her husband would step on it and break it when he came home. She could always say the dog must have carried it into the kitchen.

Alice was leaving the house again as the house keeper, Connie, arrived. Connie almost broke her neck tripping over the little statue. She took one look at it and made the sign of the cross. She did not know if this thing was supposed to be a gargoyle or not, but she was taking no chances. She picked it up as though she knew it was contaminated. She did not want to risk tripping over it again. She thought it might be one of those ugly things people put in their gardens or on their front porches. So she set it on the porch next to the front door.

Don did not notice that it was missing from the end table that night. The next morning he saw his dog standing in front of the front door. Don put a leash on the dog and led it outside to do its business. When the dog finished Don turned to walk back to the house. That is when he saw the statuette sitting on the porch. That is also when the wind blew the door shut. It was locked and he did not have his keys. He angrily rang the doorbell. He nudged the repulsive statue with his foot as rang the doorbell again. “That damn thing never stays where I put it,” he thought. He knew it had to be his wife who moved it, but the ugliness of the thing is what made her do it. He rang the doorbell again. He was very much in the mood to blame someone or something for being locked out of his house. He looked down at the statuette. “Anything that hideous has to be bad luck,” he concluded. When Alice finally answered the door he said: “That does it, I’m getting rid of the statue of that damn demon!”

On his way to work he stopped at a store that sold curios, figurines, vases and such. Some of the merchandise was new, but the store also carried antiques and collectibles. Don thought the owner of the store might be able to tell him what the statuette was supposed to be. Better yet, he might buy it.

“Do you know what the hell this is?” Don asked.

“I have no idea.”

“Is it very old?”

“I doubt it.”

“What will you give me for it?”

“I’d be lucky if I could sell it for a dollar.”

“Then I guess I’ll just throw it away.”

“All right, I’ll give you a dollar for it.”

Don took the dollar and left. The owner of the store wrote out a price tag for a dollar fifty and attached it to the statuette. He set it on a shelf thinking it was very unlikely that anyone would ever buy the thing.

That afternoon Dale entered the store looking for a vase. He had bought flowers for his wife for their first wedding anniversary, but he wanted the real gift to be a vase. It had to be something unusual and beautiful.

“May I help you?”

“Probably, but I want to brows a bit first.”

The owner of the store smiled. “Be my guest.”

Dale looked over at a shelf containing curios and miscellaneous bric a brac. He took several steps toward that shelf and stopped dead in his tracks. He could not believe his eyes. It must be a miracle! Sitting on the shelf was a statuette he had not seen since his early teens. He had lost it when he and his parents moved out of the house where he had grown up. Vivid memories sprang to his mind. He was only ten years old when he made that statuette. He had disobeyed his mother by entering her potting shed when she was not there. He had just seen King Kong, and he wanted to make a statue of the beast. He took a large lump of clay and began working it into the likeness of the ape. He was nearly finished when his mother caught him.

“What are you doing here?”

“Making a statue.”

“You know I’m going to have to punish you for this.”

“Yes, ma’am.”

“Let me see what you’ve made.” He showed it to her. “That’s not bad, not bad at all. Do you want me to fire it for you?”

“Please.”

His punishment was that he had to miss his favorite television show that night, but it was worth it. Now this wonderful statuette of King Kong was sitting on a shelf in this store with the price tag of a mere dollar fifty on it. Dale picked it up with a big smile on his face. To others it was a grotesque figure with malevolent eyes. To him it was a beautiful figure with eyes that reflected a mother’s love for her child even when he was naughty. In addition to the statuette, he bought a beautiful vase for his wife, and he shared with her the miracle of unconditional love.

Mother’s day in the U.S. is May 8. Let your mother know how much her love means to you.

First published in macsbackporch.fictionforall.com on Mar. 27, 2011

Obviously dates are a problem when entering something written years ago.  Mother's day is May 10, this year.  I must say this story packed a punch for me because my mother died last year just before mother's day!